Tuesday, January 3, 2012


2011 has been quite the challenge, in fact the last few years have been a struggle on many fronts. I admit that I'm lacking direction, I don't know what it is I really want for the future and how to get there. Trouble with me is that I want to do and learn so much, all at the same time, with resources (aka money) I don't have. I want the humanly impossible and it has rendered me immobile.

Yesterday someone said to me, "You seem to have so many burdens in your life. Your house is a burden. Your work is a burden. Your relationships are a burden. Your self is a burden. There is not a single thing that brings you happiness."

Harsh I know, but it was said by someone who genuinely cares about my wellbeing, with the intention of possibly jolting me into some sort of action. Well the skies didn't open up with revelation nor did I get an immediate dose of get-up-and-go. Instead I got defensive and insisted that there were MANY things that I'm VERY happy about (even though I knew that that wasn't at all the point and I'm merely distracting myself from the issue at hand).

I've been feeling teary and down in the dumps since, so I decided to list just a handful of things that make me happy. This is a slice of pretty that I can revisit when I need to remember the painful but necessary conversation last night. 
When I need to get some focus.
When I need motivation.
When I need a kick up the bum.

My happiness:

unconditional love
unconditional love from Miles

art and music
my creativity in arts and music

110305 Day 258 a la simply breakfast
having a coffee a day

this boatshed (yeah, common knowledge)

091216 Day 179 self-improvement
books and bookshops

Thanks to my parents' sacrifice and hard work, and being born on the cusp of Gen X and Y, I've had a blessed life. I have all my limbs intact and senses complete.
I mustn't let my life go to waste. I have so much potential!

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”
-Neil Gaiman

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