It was Chinese New Year yesterday and will be for the next 2 weeks. So this is as good a time as any to have a go at my Koi Carpe Diem series, seeing as the koi fish is so oriental and features lots of red.
The koi (or carp) is associated with strength, courage, perseverance in times of adversity, ambition and advancement; attributes that I can identify with.
All my life, I've been torn between following my heart and conforming to expectations. The latter always wins because to choose the opposite would be frowned upon, more so if you're from a typical chinese family. It'd bring disapproval, disappointment and embarrassment. Ungratefulness and disrespect would be implied. I don't resent this at all, it's just the way it is.
After high school, I studied Accounting, which was one of a handful of 'acceptable' disciplines to pursue. I got good grades, received a scholarship and studied overseas. I conformed.
Then I did the unthinkable, I stayed overseas...ah but I digress.
10 years on (about a year and 3 months ago), I left my accounting job *gasp shock horror*! I desperately needed a break. It was as if I wanted the world to be still for a moment so that I could take a breath and hear myself think. After 6 months of freedom, I took on a short-term contract and am now job hunting again. I'm really glad that I've done this, despite it being an uphill battle for most of the way, with plenty of fear, doubt and every other internal struggle you can think of. I needed every ounce of strength, courage and perseverance to keep my head above water and believe in myself.
Most importantly, I've kick-started my creative juices and am now more than willing to sink my teeth into a 'proper' desk job again. Hey, a girl's gotta eat!
The koi is also said to bring good fortune and luck. There are so many positives associated with them and I hope it all rubs off on me while I immortalise them in art :)
|Pura Tirta Empul|